The point of my blog and sharing my journey is to give my witness of the Father and His Son Jesus Christ and of the truthfulness of the His gospel and His doctrine. My desire is to help others come unto Him, to seek out the covenant seed of Abraham, the remnant of Joseph of who I am, in whom these things rightfully belong, and to whom are my ancestors, who are the blood of my blood, that we may gather together wherever we are at in His name, as many as will come even the Gentile that they may be His seed too, that we may gather unto the Lord, that we all may be a covenant people together; that you may be brought out of the darkness into the light.
I have focused on my relationship with Him, my interactions with Him, and what I have learned in that process. However, there is an area of my life and or an aspect that in coming to know the Lord I have neglected to teach, it also requires that you come to know the darkness associated with that one who is known as Lucifer, the Adversary, the Devil, the Cunning One, or in other words to know about the darkness, and thus having to overcome it and to be able to understand and comprehend it, that by doing so it enables YOU to be able to come into the light.
It is a darkness that seeks to engulf us in despair, misery, and confusion, which is the result of an absence of light, which is the present state of the world we are in. In doing so, because I have avoided discussing this, I have likely done a disservice to some because this too is also part of my journey and in coming to know God and His mercies, in addition to the physical, and laying down of my life as it were on an altar, with a broken heart and contrite spirit, having had to do these things, sacrificing whatsoever it is that He has placed upon me, I have also had to taste darkness, to know of its bitterness so that in a word I can comprehend it and for a time was overcome by it, but by His mercies am delivered from it.
I haven’t talked about it much or taught about it, because frankly, I rather not. My interactions with the devil has not been pleasant, and why would they be. If you know the spirit of which I speak, the spirit that which is an enemy to Christ and the power of the Adversary; you also know that in some ways when discussing them, or discussing these things that they are invited. To mention them or their names, to discuss them at length, is to give honor to them and glory when you fear them; it is a form of worship, so also when you sin, it too is a form of worship. When you blatantly and deliberating rebel against God, you worship that old cunning one who is the devil and father of lies.
In an interview with Taylor Johnatakis, which can be listened to here (part 1; part 2) if you are not already familiar with it, I mentioned that darkness, or the Adversary, gets its equal time with you. In saying that, I have left that up to interpretation as to what I may mean exactly. Does that mean temptation, it most certainly does, but that is not exclusive to that. It also means having experience with evil, with people, and also with spiritual beings of darkness and, in that process also, tabernacled beings of darkness of both glory and power. So we see this cosmology of Yin and Yang (69), light and darkness played out. So as above, so also below.
In a recent e-mail, I was asked, how do I know I wasn’t deceived, how do I know it wasn’t an evil spirit or the devil appearing as an angel of light to me.
In short, I know, because I too have had encounters with beings of darkness, more so and more often with those beings of darkness that I can tell the difference between them. I know the difference between the two as light and day is to darkness and night, as to heat and warmth as to the absence of heat and warmth. I have had more interactions with the Adversary than I have with beings of light, unfortunately, or fortunately, whether that is a righteous resurrected man, an angel, or a woman who appeared in the spirit when she appeared, she appeared in all her glory because that is the only way she could appear. She was a being of light, who is a flaming one or Seraphim, for she moved majestically and appeared in all her glory because that is the only way she could appear. She delivered her message and then departed; a spirit cannot appear any other way. They must appear in their glory or in the case of spiritual beings of darkness who have no light and thus no glory cannot appear any other way, and they appear as they are. Satan can appear as an Angel of Light, something to consider, but he cannot appear as the Son of man appears, he cannot know the sign of The Son, or the Son of man, but may appear as an angel of light or another sign, but NOT the sign of The Son of Man.
In an online discussion recently (today – the day of me writing this blog post), a friend (Rob Smith, of the blog Upwardthought) said the following in a discussion on the former forum called the Remnant of Jacob – Forum.
While that forum where this was shared is no longer available, I have restarted that forum here (edit: 10/05/2021).
We are shown in the scriptures that true examples of Christ’s visitation co-occur with visitations from the devil. In the case of Abraham, this happened before Jesus came. In the case of Moses, it happen after. In both cases, the contrast was indisputable proof to those visited that they had been in the presence of the Almighty. Moses’ experience would be just as true had Jesus appeared in visible burnings as it would if he appeared without them:
“12 And it came to pass that when Moses had said these words, behold, Satan came tempting him, saying: Moses, son of man, worship me.
13 And it came to pass that Moses looked upon Satan and said: Who art thou? For behold, I am a son of God, in the similitude of his Only Begotten; and where is thy glory, that I should worship thee?
14 For behold, I could not look upon God, except his glory should come upon me, and I were transfigured before him. But I can look upon thee in the natural man. Is it not so, surely?”
Thus in pondering this, it became apparent that this aspect of coming to Christ needs to be taught, and upon inquiring of Him regarding this, the spirit spoke and impressed upon my mind the importance of touching on this. So with that, I will touch on it briefly, and this according to my own experience and understanding.
The scriptures contain many more witnesses of these kinds of things; Christ was kept in the wilderness, taken to the tops of the mountains and to the top of the temple by the Adversary wherein He fasted for 40 days and was tempted sorely, Joseph Smith was attacked by an unknown or unseen force which he felt would soon overcome him. Those accounts are given as a witness of the power of the Adversary and to also know that we likewise in coming to Christ and in seeking these things may know that the devil does get equal time, to tempt you, yes, but also to try you and seek to overcome you. You cannot come into the Lord’s presence without knowing the differences between darkness and light; if you cannot endure the darkness and overcome it, and are overcome by it, then how can you abide the very presence of angels?
And Jesus being full of the Holy Ghost returned from Jordan, and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, Being forty days tempted of the devil. And in those days he did eat nothing: and when they were ended, he afterward hungered. And the devil said unto him, If thou be the Son of God, command this stone that it be made bread. And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God. And the devil, taking him up into an high mountain, shewed unto him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time. And the devil said unto him, All this power will I give thee, and the glory of them: for that is delivered unto me; and to whomsoever I will I give it. If thou therefore wilt worship me, all shall be thine. And Jesus answered and said unto him, Get thee behind me, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve. And he brought him to Jerusalem, and set him on a pinnacle of the temple, and said unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down from hence: For it is written, He shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee: And in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone. And Jesus answering said unto him, It is said, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God. And when the devil had ended all the temptation, he departed from him for a season. And Jesus returned in the power of the Spirit into Galilee: and there went out a fame of him through all the region round about. And he taught in their synagogues, being glorified of all. (KJV Luke 4:1-15)
The first experience I ever had with the Lord that I can recall, and also with spirits, and I mentioned this briefly in my interview, was when I was 7 years old; my family and I lived in Rancho Cucamonga, California, at the time. We lived in a small house off of Baseline Rd. I remember it well; the garage was separated from the house; I have many early fond memories of living there, digging in the dirt, and just being a child. One evening I was sick; I had an earache; those are pretty horrible for the little ones especially, and for me, it was awful. I can recall the pain to this day that it caused me, and likely my earliest memory of being sick, but not my earliest memory. That evening I slept on the couch; I am not sure if my parents put me to my bed or not, and I got up, or if I went to sleep there and I was left there. I awoke to a light coming from the kitchen, which was to the left of the room I was in; it was an opening through a doorway, and in it was a light shining from there, but the light was more translucent, that is how I would describe it today, it did not have the same effect as light bulbs, it was not nearly as bright but yet bright enough that it woke me.
I waited and watched; I saw a woman, then a man, and then another man and woman—four in total. I thought maybe it was my parents, I called out to them, but they didn’t hear me or answer; I began to be afraid, mind you, I was 7 years old and sick, with an ear infection. When they didn’t answer, my fear grew, then a calm voice came to me and spoke to go speak with them. I refused. I cowered. I watched them long enough to know what they were wearing; they were dressed similarly to what is worn in Mormon Temples, with the exception of the head apparel; their fashion also seemed to be a bit older. I thought it strange then they all wore white, and the men were also wearing aprons, which were also white. Whatever they were doing, they were busy – walking back and forth and paying no notice to me. This experience marked me for life. It wasn’t until I was older and attending the temple that I made the connection to their apparel.
Around this same time, I had a friend named David Orangstead (sp?); he was about my age, his family most Sundays sat in front of us at church. He was a hyper and rowdy kid; he almost always took handfuls of the sacrament bread – in my immaturity and young age, I thought for sure he was destined to go to hell because of it. David died not long after that, he became very sick, I think it was around Halloween, he ended up having cancer or a tumor on the brain, but before he died, during one of the times he was awake, he told his parents that three men had appeared in his hospital room, dressed in white, standing off the floor, they told him they were there to take David home. He described them and their appearance. I recall David’s parents sharing this at David’s funeral with my parents, and also his older siblings sharing this with me and us as kids talking about what happened to David. This also was a significant event that marked me for life.
When I was ordained to the Aaronic Priesthood, that same evening, I was seized upon by a force of nature that was dark, powerful, and unseen; it could bind my tongue that I could not speak, it could restrain me, that I was paralyzed and could not move, it was immediate in my mind what it was, it was clear that this was Satan. I struggled to speak, to say Christ’s name, just to call His name, even in a whisper if I could say His name, and after I was able, after having struggled for a time as soon as my lips uttered the Saviors name, it quickly fled, just as quick as it was upon me it was gone by uttering His name. I was terrified; I was 12 years old! This became the norm for me, almost on a daily basis, at first. It was being startled awake at night while trying to sleep or woken from a deep sleep to be confronted, and I learned how to cast out Satan and his evil spirits and by what power they would depart. I learned to raise my arm to the square and to rebuke him and could begin sensing him before he seized upon me before he could afflict me and torment me and would cast him out immediately. I wish my father dedicated our home, and together we rebuked the Adversary. This sort of thing went on at first, nightly, and as I worked to overcome my fears of it, it departed little by little, and the interactions with this unknown force dissipated over time.
When I was about 14 years old, it began again; I was seized upon as I had been before for the last two years, but this time it was more powerful; not only did I experience everything before, but this time he began to appear in different forms. So my battles or fights with him began again for the lack of a better word. I would awake to an unknown spirit in our home. I would struggle in mind, body, and spirit to overcome it and would follow it with my arm raised to the square and speaking to it in tongues, a language by the power of the Holy Ghost that I knew at that moment, and I spoke to it and rebuked it. It appeared as a great serpent with great power and tried to strike me several times, but the power of God is greater. It appeared as a man another time and again another time as a woman. This went on for weeks at a time, every night, lasting months, then off and on for several years; these experiences were both in the body and wrestled with these spirits out of the body, in the spirit. I had to overcome them physically and spiritually; at that time, I had no clue why these things were happening, my spirit knew, the veil over my mind kept me from externally being aware of what was taking place, but while in the spirit and by the power of the Holy Ghost I knew how to confront and contend with these spiritual beings of darkness and cast them out.
It was about this time when I was 15, almost 16, or 16 years old when Ben, an Angel, first appeared to me. Mind you, for nearly 4 years prior to this; I had been confronted by forces from the other side of the veil. I had fought in the spirit and also in the physical body casting out and in contending and confronting and being confronted with evil spirits. I was both in and out of my body at different times in these confrontations, more times than I can recollect. I was not endowed; I had NO clue to offer my hand to an angel to detect them, let alone an evil spirit – so don’t ask. But I can tell you when Ben came and appeared, evil didn’t accompany him. I had 4 years of experience in dealing with the Adversary. When Ben appeared, I already knew him; I don’t know how I already knew him, but I know today because he is my ancestor from the Book of Mormon. He taught me the things of God; he taught me about the compass (that is on the garment), that is shaped like the letter V, by which he said the lost tribes of Israel would return (by this compass), it was shown to me to be drawn on a large stone cut at 45 degrees. A large circle was on it with the shape or the letter V inside of it, with the point of the V in the middle of the circle. I had NO clue what it meant; how was this a compass, other than it just was because that was what was revealed and that by this compass would the lost tribes of Israel return. In showing me these things, he also showed me the legions of devils that awaited their return, who are preparing to make war with them.
I had many more experiences with the Adversary during this time; it was also about this time when other Angels came and taught me; it is also during this time when I saw the Lord praying in the garden of Gethsemane.
On my mission, I wrestled with a spirit who fell and was cast out with the devil and his angels; I also knew his name, I knew our friendship before he was cast out, and that he was wroth with me because I chose to follow the Savior.
I was confronted by a resurrected or tabernacled being of darkness, glory, and power, a queen, who attempted to appear to me as a glorified being of light but being able to detect her for who she was, the disguise was thrown down, and I saw her for who she was. I was awake and lying on my back; my Son was with me in the hotel room and slept through the whole ordeal. I hadn’t gone to bed yet. What the Lord taught me about 10 months before about faith and the power of faith when He appeared to me prepared me for this; I was able to free myself and overcome this tabernacled being of darkness. This is the first time I have had an encounter with evil that was a physical tabernacled being, not a mortal person that is spiritually wicked but a being of darkness, power, and glory who descend through the ceiling, which appeared as a glorified being of light and power, who was physically more powerful than anything I have yet to encounter before. After I was able to free myself through power and faith in Christ and could physically move again, I raised both arms to the square; I do not know why both arms were raised – it was instinctive and natural to me at that moment. I spoke to her in a tongue that I knew by the power of the Holy Ghost and rebuked her and cast her out. This happened in August of 2015.
Darkness gets its equal time.
I have been blessed with opportunities at a very young age to be able to discern spirits and true messengers from false messengers. So when I tell you, that standing in the presence of the Father that I could feel all of creation giving Him Honor and Glory, and I had no power to look upon Him because of my own nothingness, that I could not look upon such a Holy being, that I know the difference between a glorified and holy being as opposed to a being of darkness that I can look upon and can behold.
He who is holy and whose holiness defies our own comprehension deserves our complete fidelity. For any to come in His name and say to you “follow me” or “follow us” are essentially saying give honor to them, these are workers of iniquity, for a servant of God would never have known the Father and Son, ever declare another man, men, women or woman as the way or whom you should follow or look to as a source of light. The Father has declared that His Son is the way and that there is no other name given under heaven whereby we can be saved.
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. (Ephesians 6:12)
Have faith in Christ; He lives!